The Artemis Fowl Files - The Ultimate Guide by Eoin Colfer

Author:Eoin Colfer
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Fowl, Artemis
Published: 2010-11-09T02:23:04.912000+00:00

CHAPTER 3: The Seventh Dwarf

The Island of Cominetto.Off the coast of Malta. The Mediterranean.

The Cominetto Spa was the most exclusive holiday destination for the People. It took several years of repeated application to get visa approval for a visit, but Foaly had done a little computer hocus pocus to get Holly on the shuttle to the Spa. She needed the break after what she'd been through. And was still going through. For now, instead of giving her a medal for saving half of the ransom fund, LEP Internal Affairs were actually investigating her.

In the past week, Holly had been exfoliated, laser peeled, purged (don't ask) and tweezered within an inch of her life, all in the name of relaxation. Her coffee-coloured skin was smooth and blemish free, and her cropped auburn hair glowed with internal lustre. But she was bored out of her skull.

The sky was blue, the sea was green and the living was easy. And Holly knew that she would go completely berserk if she had to spend one more minute being pampered. But Foaly had been so pleased when he had set this trip up, that she didn't have the heart to tell him how fed up she was.

Today she was lying in a bubble pool of algae sludge have her pores rejuvenated and playing guess the crime. This was a game where you assumed that everyone that passed by was a criminal, and you had to guess what they were guilty of.

The white-suited algae therapist wandered over with a phone on a transparent platter.

'A call from PolicePlaza, Sister Short,' he said. His tone left Holly in no doubt what he thought of phone calls in this oasis of calm.

'Thank you, Brother Hummus,' she said, snatching the handset. Foaly was on the other end.

'Bad news, Holly,' said the centaur. 'You've been recalled to active duty. A special assignment.'

'Really?' said Holly, simultaneously punching the air and trying to sound disappointed. 'What's the assignment?'

'Take a couple of deep breaths,' advised Foaly. 'And maybe a few pills.'

'What is it, Foaly?' insisted Holly, though her gut already knew.

'It's . . .'

'Artemis Fowl,' said Holly. 'I'm right, aren't I?'

'Yes,' admitted Foaly. 'The Irish boy is back. And he's teamed up with a dwarf. We don't know what they're planning, so you need to find out.'

Holly clambered from the sludge tub, leaving a trail of green algae on the white carpet.

'I can't imagine what they are planning,' she said, bursting into the locker room. 'But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.'

The Fowl Lear Jet.Over the Atlantic Ocean.

Mulch Diggums was soaking in the Lear jet's high spec Jacuzzi bath. He absorbed gallons of water through his thirsty pores, flushing the toxins from his system. When he felt sufficiently refreshed, he emerged from the bathroom wrapped in an oversized bathrobe. He looked like nothing more than the world's ugliest bride, trailing a train behind him.

Artemis Fowl was toying with an iced tea while he waited for the dwarf.

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